Tryouts - Before, During, & After

Everyone’s favorite time of year: tryouts! I’m not going to take a stand on whether tryouts are a good thing or not. They are part of our world at all different levels of sport so it’s just something we have to deal with. In reality, they are part of life! Job interviews, college applications, the list goes on. Learning to perform while being evaluated is an important lesson*. 
*This doesn’t necessarily mean you should sign your 7 year-old up for tryouts.

Before

Work on Inside-Out Confidence
Inside-Out Confidence is a model coined by Dr. Ralph Vernacchia which places the emphasis on developing self esteem and self identity as a base for self confidence (diagram below). The theory is that by building these internal pieces, they will positively affect athletic performance. An athlete that feels better about themselves and is comfortable and secure with who they are, will have deeper confidence and better athletic performances as a result. 

If we flip the arrow around, the confidence becomes Outside-In. This means athletic performance has influence over our self esteem and self identity. Our performance and results 1) are pretty unpredictable and 2) have a ton of factors that are out of our control. Especially when we’re talking about youth athletes. So, putting our self esteem and identity on the line solely based on our athletic performance and results can be potentially harmful. 

One issue with tryouts is that players’ identities often get wrapped up in the result. There’s often societal pressure and social status that comes with being on a certain team. When you don’t make the team you want, our self confidence is harmed, we feel like we aren’t good enough, and all of a sudden our identity as a soccer player and as a person  is under attack. 

Inside-Out Confidence is a process and isn’t something we’re going to develop in the week before tryouts. It takes time but there’s no better time to start than right now! Here’s a good first step:

“The first step to self-confidence is self-respect for one’s effort and preparation”, says Dr. Brian Zuleger. If you’re showing up, putting in the work, and doing your best, give yourself appreciation and respect for doing so - regardless of result or outcome. Ask yourself, “how would I talk to my best friend at this moment?” It is usually much easier to be more compassionate and respectful to a best friend than ourselves. That language is typically more positive, helpful, and encouraging. Shifting self-talk in that way can help us be more self-compassionate and build self-esteem.

What is truly important to you?
Think about what is important to you before you go into tryouts. What are you looking for in a team? Are you wanting to make the top team because you think you should want to? Or because of the status and popularity? Maybe you want to challenge yourself as much as possible? Create a list of things that you value and how those things show up in each team. Potential list items could be:
Playing Time
Relationships
Fun
Positive support
Challenge
And many more…

During

Be present, not perfect
“Every time I screw up, that’s when the coaches are watching. They never see me do anything good”. If I had a nickel for every time I heard that… One of the pressures at tryouts is the feeling like we have to be perfect all of the time and we can’t screw up. The more we think about not screwing up, what tends to happen? We screw up more. Our brain is trying so hard not to do a certain thing it drifts in that direction. 

Instead of trying to be perfect, be present. This is an all-time classic quote from Dr. Ken Ravizza. When we try so hard to be perfect, we aren’t in the present moment. We’re thinking about what already happened or what’s going to happen in the future. This is a huge mental distraction. Focus on being present and going one ball/rep/play/pitch at a time. Give your best effort into each rep. Letting the previous rep go, and giving your full attention and focus into the present rep. 

Focus on your strengths
On a similar note, tryouts are not the time to worry about doing everything right. Focus on the things that make you, you. If you’re a really good dribbler, lean into your dribbling. If you have great positive energy and love to communicate, bring that energy and communicate. By focusing on the things we know we do well, it helps build that inside-out confidence we talked about earlier. These are the things that make you the player and person you are. We don’t have to try to be something we aren’t and there will be plenty of time to work on the things we aren’t good at yet. 

After

Take a Break!
This might vary sport to sport but soccer tryouts in our area are at the end of year. There is about an 8-week break before the next season starts. That means we go through a whole season and cap it off with the stress of tryouts. The temptation can be to jump right into off-season training and go go go all summer. Fire needs oxygen and space to grow. If you pile wood on a fire without giving it space, it will smother and go out. Same thing with our motivation. We need time to take a break, do something different, and then be excited to come back and train. Maybe it’s a few days or maybe it’s a couple of weeks. Everyone is going to vary depending on your situation. Go outside, go swim, climb a tree, and do all the fun stuff you may not have time for during the season. And then get excited about the new season and ready to tackle it head on!


Remember, your journey in sports is your journey. You will develop at different rates than everyone else. Each year is simply a snapshot at a given moment. Your job is to find your (or your child’s) best place to love the game and grow as a person and an athlete.